Carlisle's Day as a Cover Teacher
by CullenGirl1901
Summary: Forks High is running low on staff and call in Dr Cullen to be a sub for the day. He has classes with all his kids. What fun! But of course something's BOUND to go wrong. Rated T for sex references *One Shot*
1. Chapter 1

**FINALLY DONE! Okay so this has been a project playing in the back of my mind a while. I have a teacher in my school called Mr Cullen (no joke he is so cool) and he was a sub for my class one day and then I did start thinking what if Carlisle was a sub! It took me forever to write though. I wrote the beginning and then forgot about it. Only recently have I gotten into it and finished it. Possibly one of the longest things I've ever written (One shot wise). Anyway thanks for reading my mini story back to the main one.

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**Alice's POV**

"NO!" I yelled and my siblings looked at me. We were standing in the parking lot of the school waiting for Bella to come to school when I had yelled.

"What is it Alice?" Jasper asked worriedly.

"C-Carlisle...coming...here..."

"NO!" Edward yelled too as he looked through my mind to see what I had just seen.

"Anything else you wanna say? Elaborate maybe?" Rosalie asked.

"What does elaborate mean?" Emmett asked.

"Ugh Emmett no time for that. Carlisle he's going to be a cover teacher for the day." I said just as Carlisle's Mercedes pulled up beside Edward's Volvo.

"NO!" The rest of us shouted as Carlisle got out of his car.

"Hey kids," Carlisle smiled and walked into the school building. We stood open mouthed watching him.

What's the big deal you ask? Everything. Even adopted parents are embarrassing. Carlisle was a cover teacher for us a few years back in Alaska and it was so embarrassing and no doubt this year he'll be the same way. What did we do to deserve this?

**Carlisle's POV**

I did a bit of teacher training when I was in Alaska, I just thought I needed a change of pace. After I had finished the course I decided I could never be a teacher. Even though I did have the patience for it and besides I knew the kids would hate me if I decided to be their teacher.

But this morning I got a call from the school's principal. The weather has been so bad in Forks lately that some teachers just can't make the effort to come to school and because my kids are always at school – apart from the occasional sunny day – he thought it would be a good idea if I could make it in to cover a few classes. And I just couldn't resist. Personally I think it's time Esme and I get more involved with the kids' lives. Especially now that Edward has Bella.

I walked into the school to the office to find out what classes I had to cover and smiled. First period I had Art with Emmett and Alice, second period I had Home Economics with Rosalie and Emmett, third period I had Biology with Edward and Bella, fourth period I had Maths with Edward and Jasper and finally at the end of the day I had Physical Education with everyone. Today was going to be a good day.

**Alice's POV**

"Oh no!" I exclaimed for the sixth time this morning. The more I looked into the future the more I was getting worried. Carlisle was having a class with every single one of us today. That was bad. They were our favourite subjects too...well most of them. Jasper and Edward weren't too thrilled about Maths and none of us were looking forward to P.E.

"Alice what now?" Rosalie demanded.

"He's taking P.E last period!"

Everyone groaned. "He's going to push us to the limit!" Emmett got excited, he loved exercise.

"Those poor humans!" Bella sighed. "Edward? Promise to stab me with a pencil or something so I can get out of P.E."

"Bella I'm not going to hurt you on purpose to get out of this. Besides you might start a feeding frenzy when all vampires within a ten mile radius smell your blood and that's not good for us." Edward replied.

That's when the bell rang and we all had to get to class. "Come on Em let's go." I sighed grabbing his arm.

"Aw, can't we just be late!" Emmett groaned. "Dang she's strong for someone so small!"

"Do you _want _Carlisle to bite your head off for being late to his class?" I hissed as we made our way down the hallway to the Art rooms.

"No!"

**Carlisle's POV**

I stood outside the door of the classroom waiting for everyone to arrive. Emmett and Alice were the last to come but I didn't notice. As we went into the classroom everyone sat at their assigned seats...but I still checked the seating chart to make sure. I wasn't qualified to teach Art but the school said I didn't need to be qualified to show them how to draw, and I didn't mean to brag but I was a pretty good artist.

"Okay class, so the last day you were working on your papier-mâché projects is that correct?" There was a lot of mumbled 'yes's around the room. "Alright well may I see them?"

Everyone moved from their desks to bring out their projects, when everyone was seated again I took a walk around the room to look at their work. Now I know humans wouldn't have an eye for very much detail or anything but it seemed like the pupils weren't even trying. Some of them had barely started or if they were close to finishing they had rushed it and skipped the details. I suppose this school doesn't care very much about their creative side. I stopped in front of Alice and Emmett's desk to look at what they were working on.

Alice was working on a papier-mâché makeup box with everything inside, I think it was her own makeup box because it was about five times bigger than a normal one and the detail of each individual lipstick tube, or brush was amazing. Emmett was doing a papier-mâché version of Rosalie; it too was also very detailed. I wonder if Rosalie put him up to it, but even her hair seemed to fall perfectly.

"Very good," I commented and walked back to the front of the classroom. "All it says on the note that was left for me was to let you get on with projects. So I will let you do that. If you need any help I'll be at the desk."

It wasn't long until Emmett came up to my desk. "Carlisle?"

"Yes Emmett?"

"Does this look like Rosalie?"

"Yes of course it does. It's a wonderful portrait."

"Okay well I think it needs something but I don't know what. I know I still have to paint it and add the glitter but is there anything I can add?"

"I think you should probably ask Alice. She'd know better than I would. Maybe you could fix one thing..." I reached out and broke a piece of the newspaper off of Emmett's sculpture. "She wouldn't be too happy if you gave her an imperfection."

"But that's baby hair! She's always had that little piece of hair that falls away from the others! She clips it back but that's one of my favourite things about her!"

"Does she know that?"

"Yes!"

"Maybe you should just take the advice. But she'll love it no matter what."

"She better! I spend forever trying to get her eyes right. Alice kept telling me they weren't even, or weren't the right size."

"Well good luck."

"Okay thanks,"

Emmett walked away and sat back down at his desk. Because I was going to be here an hour and I doubted that many people would need my help I took my laptop out and do a little research. Well actually I was just on Facebook. Everyone has one and vampires weren't an exception.

**Emmett's POV**

I sat down with my papier-mâché Rosalie and started recreating the piece of hair Carlisle tore off of it.

"So what was that about?" Alice asked, she was painting her makeup box.

"What? Why didn't you use your vampire hearing?"

"Because it's rude to pry into people's lives. Now what was that about?"

"I was just asking him if this looked like Rosalie. It wasn't anything."

"Oh okay well it better not have been anything. Do you think I have time to start another project? I was thinking of doing a mini closet...you know with all of my racks of clothes, shoes and accessories..."

"Aren't you already making a doll house in Wood Shop? Doesn't that have a closet for all the doll clothes?"

"Yeah but this is different Em! This is my closet!"

"No I don't think you could not without using vamp speed."

"Hmm...Then I guess it'll just have to be a home project..."

"Good luck with that."

Halfway through the class Carlisle got up out of his chair and took a walk around the classroom looking at all the displays. At least one of us had a piece of work in every display, always at the front because we were the best artists in the class. I was sure Carlisle was going to say something. Even Alice stopped painting a portrait of herself in the papier-mâché mirror on the lid of her makeup box to watch him.

"What do you think he might say?" Alice asked, she had turned all the way around in her stool to face the walls were Carlisle was looking at portrait paintings and had her paintbrush poised like she was still going to paint.

"I don't know, and aren't you the psychic one? Go use your power look into the future!" I replied waving my arms around, I forgot I had the paintbrush in my hand loaded with paint and I sprayed said paint onto Alice's apron and a little bit on her face.

"Ugh, Emmett!" Alice stormed off to get cleaned up. When she came back she went back to painting and after a moment said. "And anyway if I use my _special ability _to look up things _that _stupid in the future then it would be a waste. I might miss something MUCH more important going on."

"Like what? Brad Pit coming to Forks?" I smirked.

"Shut up, don't make me paint _you_."

"Oh my..." Alice and I spun around to see Carlisle looking at the portrait that Edward had done of Bella...as a vampire. He went really OTT with it but it was a beautiful piece, the teenage boy part of him really took over when he was doing the background, it was covered in little hearts. "This is beautiful. Who painted it?"

_As if it wasn't obvious. _I thought to myself before speaking up. "Oh Edward painted that."

"Really? Hmm...I need to have a word with him about that."

"I'd love to be there when you did." I smiled.

"Does Bella know about this?"

"Yeah, they have the same Art class." Alice replied, she was texting under the desk. Probably trying to warn Edward.

Carlisle took one last proper look at the painting before moving on to the next display. I wonder why he was so fascinated by the portrait of Bella...

**Alice's POV**

As soon as Carlisle stopped at Edward's painting I whipped my phone out to tell him.

**Hey Edward,**

_What?_

**Carlisle likes your painting.**

_Which one?_

**The one you did of Bella as a vamp.**

_Really? What'd he say?_

**That's it's beautiful. He seems to be really interested in it. He also wants to talk to you.**

_About the painting?_

**Yep. Maybe it's because your fantasies are getting ahead of you again.**

_What? It wasn't my idea to paint that! Bella wanted me to paint her as a vampire, the way I would see her. So I did._

**Really? You see her that way when she becomes one of us? The dress and the heart background and everything?**

_No not the heart background that part was me. Wait...what dress?_

**Oops sorry that was my vision. *cough* so anyway how's Geography?**

_Boring. And do I have a say in what dress you have in mind?_

**Since when did you have a say in anything to do with fashion? Look I have to go, I just noticed I forgot to put in a crucial part of my makeup box! Bye.**

It didn't take me long to get irritated about this school and it's low funding budget. When I was painting there were just not enough shades of pink for my lipstick collection. Emmett too was annoyed when there wasn't just the right shade of blonde for Rosalie's hair.

"Car-I mean Dr Cullen?" I raised my hand.

"Yes Alice?"

"Could I just take a minute to complain about the low funding budget?"

"I don't know what good complaining will do."

"Well I was thinking that we could protest to the school or something."

"I really don't think that's reasonable."

"What if we have a fundraiser or something? These Art supplies are terrible."

"I would like to Alice but I'm not you're actual teacher. Maybe you should discuss this with another member of staff."

"I know but as our Art teacher you're supposed to do the job of that teacher and that includes going to the principal with our queries."

"I'll see what I can do later okay Alice?"

"You want see. You will make sure we get better Art supplies."

"Alice I can't do that."

"Yes you can, you can just walk to the mall and buy us some good Art supplies!"

"Alice that's enough!"

The whole room went quiet and I shied away behind my papier-mâché. I stayed quiet until the bell went. I guess I get a little over passionate and was treating Carlisle like I do at home. He's always there and would supply what we needed but obviously it was different at school. As everyone was leaving to go to their next class I had to stay and apologize for my behaviour.

**Carlisle's POV**

I don't like yelling at Alice and I don't if I can help it but she went really over the line. As she left the classroom I gathered my things to go to the next class. It was H.E with Emmett and Rosalie...Emmett again. This should be fun.

When I got to the classroom everyone was already inside setting up. When I got to the desk I could see that it was their exam practical. I thought it wasn't right for them to go through with this without their actual teacher being here. Especially because I didn't have much experience in cooking and I had no idea how to grade them.

I looked under the note that was left for me and there was another note telling me what I should be looking for from each pupil. And I mean a different type of grading for every pupil because they were all so different. I think it would just be best to grade them fairly but apparently that wouldn't be fair because all pupils learn at their own level. I just don't understand this school at all.

Apparently I have to be very tough on my kids because they are 'overachievers and pretty much show offs' whereas I have to be gentle on people like Jessica because the teacher feels she has 'a learning disability'. But what I think is that the school just don't teach them as well as they could. But that's just me. I mean when I'm on Facebook I often see Alice updating her status from her classes and she also texts so obviously the teachers aren't very observant either. What was I thinking sending my kids to public school?

I looked up and everyone has begun to cook so I walked around the classroom to make sure that everyone was doing things right and no one was going to cut themselves or something. Which I wouldn't be surprised if it happened. But then I saw how it was prevented and I stopped at Jessica.

"Jessica why are you using a blunt knife?"

"Because I'm not allowed to use a sharp one." Jessica replied trying to cut a piece of chicken.

"Why aren't you allowed to use a sharp one?"

"Because she _almost_ cut Emmett's finger and I do mean _almost_ so that's why we keep her away from sharp objects. Or else we'd have some _exposing_ to do." Rosalie explained as she walked past me to get to get to the fridge.

"Ah," I nodded and walked away. Well I'll have to take that into consideration when I grade hers then.

"Emmett what are you making?" I asked taking a look at his table setting. Emmett setting the table? My God it's something I'd never thought I'd see. He doesn't even set the table when Bella comes for dinner.

"I'm making a full 3 course dinner. Here's the menu. Feel free to grade me high." Emmett smiled. This must be one of the only classes he isn't failing and is showing off. I'll never understand someone who goes through high school 50 odd times and still has problems pronouncing Shakespearian language.

"Showing off?" I asked picking up the menu card.

"Just a little but that's only because I thought the teacher was going to be here. But because it's you maybe I could have done whatever. But I've already prepared and everything and there's no point in wasting food."

"And you were told you had to cook for Bella this weekend."

"Yep. This is practice so it's edible."

"Good idea. Wait do I need to eat the food? Test it for proper grading and all that."

"Nah just go by appearance."

"Okay good."

I walked on and was interrupted by Angela.

"Mr Cullen?"

"Yes Angela," 'Mr Cullen' sounded weird.

"Where do we set our tables up?"

"I think its in the next room."

"Okay thanks."

After taking a trip around the classroom I sat down. There really wasn't anything for me to do. I didn't know that the kids could cook. Maybe that's why they were spending so much time with Esme. I'm still amazed Esme can cook so well. But then again you don't always have to taste the food to know that it has turned out right.

As people began serving up their food I went into the next room to see what was going on. There were individual spaces for everyone to set up with name plates on them. Rosalie's setting was simple and romantic and Emmett's setting was fancy and elegant. It's interesting because Rosalie was the last person I'd expect in the kitchen.

When I was walking back into the classroom I almost bumped into Rosalie carrying a serving plate.

"Carlisle! Watch where you're going! I spent forever on this and I'm not having it ruined now by you!" Rosalie snapped moving to the side and walking to her place setting.

"Sorry Rosalie. So what are you making?" I asked following her instead of going back into the classroom.

"A simple dinner for two. Dessert included. This," Rosalie took the lid off of her plate. "Is the dessert." And she set it in the middle of her table.

It was a double chocolate fudge cake decorated with white icing and roses - also made of icing sugar. It looked gorgeous and if I wasn't repulsed by food I would have taken a slice.

"Looks good,"

"I know. I miss the taste of chocolate. Obviously it won't taste the same to me as it did before. But a girl can dream." Rosalie sighed and gazed at the cake before turning to me. "Can you stay in here and make sure not a single grubby human finger touches my cake? I seen them all admiring it while I was decorating it and none of them are getting any of it."

"Sure," Rosalie thanked me and walked away. Emmett then came in with a fruit salad and a sushi platter. It was so random but whatever I'm not here to judge. Oh wait yes I am.

As people came and went I looked at each of their dishes. Something told me this was the only class in which pupils actually didn't fail and they actually liked it. And it really showed in some of their presentations. A lot of them were kind of similar and simple like salads and things like that and there were the rare few that ventured out in making full course meals. Of course no one tried harder than my kids who haven't even eaten human food in a couple hundred years but I was proud of them.

"EMMETT!"

I whipped my head around to look through the window. But I couldn't see through it there was pinkish gunk all over the window. I rushed into the classroom and nearly slipped on more pinkish gunk.

"What happened?" I demanded looking around the room.

Everyone was frozen in a state of shock or horror maybe both and then everyone started to freak out and yell at Emmett. I walked over to him.

"What happened son?"

"I was making a strawberry smoothie and I forgot to put the lid on..." Emmett confessed.

I took another look around the room. He had gotten about half of the room covered in what I assumed was his 'strawberry smoothie' - a lot of the students included. Well that was going to have a big impact on their marks.

"Emmett I want you to stay behind after class and clean this mess up. Everyone else go and clean yourselves up. Don't worry about your exam I'll write a note to your teacher explaining what happened."

Everyone started to move and I went to my desk to write a letter to the teacher. I wonder how the teacher will react to this when she finds out. She might be mad she has to grade the classes work or she'll be mad about the mess. But my guess is she'll just be mad being at the school. I know some teachers aren't exactly thrilled to be teaching high school kids.

Once everyone was cleaned up I ordered them to help and clean up the classroom. I knew Emmett would never clean it by himself at human speed. By the time the bell went and it was time for the next class the classroom was in a worse state than what we started with. The class started having a bubble fight with the soap suds and well things got worse. So I decided to just make them come back after school to clean up the mess and that didn't make them too happy.

"Thanks a lot Carlisle." Rosalie hissed as she was leaving the classroom. "Now everyone hates us!"

"Oh Rosalie don't worry we could always move and get a fresh start." I smiled.

"Don't push it I'm almost out of here I am not coming back again! At least not for a few years. Let me have my freedom!"

"Fine just don't be late for your next class."

Rosalie gave me one of her glares before storming off down the hall. I laughed and began looking for my next classroom. Biology with Bella and Edward how fun.

**Edward's POV**

As Bella and I were walking to Biology, Rosalie pushed past and I got mental images of what had just happened to her and Emmett in Home Ec. It was very funny and I couldn't help but laugh and that made Bella annoyed because she hated the pyschic game.

"What is it now?" She demanded.

"It seems there was a bit of an accident in Home Ec with Emmett and a blender. Rosalie isn't too happy." I explained.

"Is she ever happy?"

"Sometimes. You just have to be around for it."

By this time Bella and I were at the classroom and Carlisle was just coming up ahead. He seemed to be in a good mood and I could see exactly what happened in his last class and I found it hard to contain my laughter as I saw images of students covered in pink goo. I wish I had've been there. It might explain why Alice was shaking her head and mumbling 'oh Emmett' in English.

As we sat down and took our seats Carlisle read the note from the teacher and looked a bit uncomfortable. And then I understood. We were learning about human reproduction. We should have learnt about it a few years back but the school didn't think we needed to know about it until the school board got mad about the fact we didn't learn it.

Bella looked at the look on my face and started to rub my arm sympathetically and I jumped at her touch. "It's okay," I whispered taking her hand in mine.

"From the look on your face I'd say it wasn't okay at all. What's up?"

Before I answered Carlisle did. "Okay class today we are going to learn about human reproduction."

I can't believe he announced that and he was okay about it. This was gonna kill me because well not everyone knew Carlisle was my dad but soon they would I mean he's sure to spin some story of how I was born because that's what they always do and even if he's not my dad he'll make something up. Or he'll go into incredible detail because he was a gynologist for some time in Alaska and he always had some crazy story about a pyschopathic pregnant woman when he came home from work.

"So...from that look I'm assuming its way worse than someone's real parent being here right now." Bella said making me jump she giggled and squeezed my hand.

"You have no idea. He's a doctor – not just a doctor but every type of doctor there is you have no idea how many times he went to medical school." I sighed.

Carlisle spent a minute or two looking through all the notes and so did I. I would be prepared for anything and everything he was going to throw at us, even if that meant a practical. But I doubt that because even if this _is _a public school there was no way they were gonna let us do _that_. And then I was thankful that I was the mind reader and not someone else because well...my thoughts are pretty disgusting when you get right down to it and _I'm _the virgin.

"Okay well I guess I'll start with this..." Carlisle held a remote at the projector head and a video began to play. Oh God this is so humiliating, I mean it took me long enough to get out of having 'the talk' with him and now this? Fabulous.

"Kill me, kill me now." I whispered and banged my head off the table, it sounded a little harder than it should have but no one noticed, except for Bella and Carlisle. Bella let go of my hand and tried to pull me upright but she couldn't because I was stronger than her in every physical way possible I just chuckled and sat up.

"Look if it gets bad yes I will stab myself so you can take me to the nurse but just try and sit through this." Bella whispered and moved her chair closer to mine.

That was another reason why this was a bad thing. Bella had suddenly come to me with this request a few days ago about sex. She feels like its one human experience she _must _have before she's a vampire because apparently she thinks it won't be the same. I can see it's just her teenage hormones taking over but the more I think about it the more maybe she's right. Teenage hormones are nothing compared to vampire ones and I remember when Rosalie and Emmett first got together...it was terrible. Now they are some mental images I will never forget.

While I was debating whether I should give into Bella's wish or not there was a loud groan from the whole class. Oh there wasn't a vivid sex scene. Yeah like we would need one a lot of the people in the room were aroused already and it's not pretty when everyone's fantasizing...especially the girls who are eye-fucking Carlisle. Ugh, why me? See now I'm ungrateful for my special ability. Being a vampire sucks.

**Bella's POV**

As I watched Edward's face become more and more miserable I started to feel for him. Obviously I don't know what goes on in _Edward land _but it mustn't be that great because he was staring into space and making faces at things that didn't look pleasant.

So I raised my hand.

"Yes Bella?" Carlisle said.

"Dr Cullen can I take Edward to the nurse? He doesn't look very good..." I said taking his hand again.

"Are you sure? I could just check him out here." That resulted in a couple of wolf whistles from the boys. Seriously the people in this school are so animalistic sometimes.

"No I think he really needs to the see the nurse," I insisted.

"Well okay,"

Edward followed me, head down as we left the classroom and the whole class started making suggestive noises and the people at the front even made hand gestures. Oh great they obviously got the wrong, _wrong_impression. What I would give to go to a different school...

"Why did you pull me out of there?" Edward asked when we were down the hall.

"Because you looked miserable, I want to find out what's up and I wanted to get out of there. So explain." I said leaning against a locker and sliding down to sit on the floor.

"I just got some pretty horrific scar-you-for-life mental images that's all. I just wish I had a bad memory like everyone else. Vampires remember everything. Sometimes it's a good thing and sometimes it's not."

"It doesn't sound like a good thing right now."

"I guess it's not," Edward sat down beside me. "But there are good things like I want to remember all the time I've spent with you. I want to remember what I learnt in school so I never have to study. So it can be a good and a bad thing. You just have to deal with it."

"I don't know if I'm ready for that. But I will be like you one day and then you'll have me forever just like you say."

"You'll be ready when I tell you, you are. Now come on we have to get back to class."

"So you _really_ wanna go back in there?"

"No but I was thinking we could call everyone out of class and go somewhere for lunch." Edward got up off of the floor and then helped me up there was a cheer in the classroom so I'm guessing there's _actual _sex scenes in the classroom now.

"But you don't eat."

"I know but you do. Besides we have lunch in a couple of minutes and I'm dying to talk to my siblings and well then we come back here and endure the next hour with Carlisle. Just come on. I'll never ask you for anything ever again."

"So you'll stop with the marriage thing?"

"No because I've already asked for that and will keep asking until you say yes."

"Ugh, okay well let's go."

"So we're getting married _and _going out to lunch?"

"No just the first one."

"Fine but one day you will be my wife."

"One day but not today."

**Carlisle's POV**

I wonder what was going on with Edward. He was normally the normal one out of all of them but now he was being weird if there was anyone acting normal today it would be Rosalie and that just messes up everything. Who knew that if I had become a teacher everything would end up backwards? Who knows maybe Esme will get a job and Jasper will announce his gay...no I shouldn't think that I'm a terrible father for thinking that.

"Cullen!" someone yelled and I turned to face the class. How long had they been yelling at me? "The video's over dude!"

"Oh," I didn't feel like teaching I just wanted to make sure Edward was okay so I put on another human reproduction video and waited patiently for Edward and Bella to return. Of course being Mr Perfect I didn't check what DVD I put on apparently this teacher has some weird extracurricular activities...let's not go into it.

After about half of the DVD I turned it off and made everyone write an essay on everything they have seen and learnt from watching both of the DVDs. It probably wasn't the best idea and I'll never be able to teach here again but I really wanted to go and see if Edward was alright so after I told the class to work I went out to find Edward.

He wasn't here at school at all. The secretary said every single one of them left for some sort of family event. So I'm guessing their ditching. That's not good I wonder if Esme knows. Or maybe they are at home complaining about me. Well whatever I guess they do have rights not to be here I mean it's not against the law they're all over the age of 18...except for Bella. So they've taken her somewhere. Oh God...now I'm having visions of Edward killing Bella off in the forest somewhere. Now I have to do something.

I asked the secretary if there was anyone to cover my class but being the idiot I am there wasn't anyone to cover the class because I was the cover teacher. Well this day just gets better and better. So I would have to call in some reinforcements.

"Hello?"

"Esme,"

"Yes Honey it's me. Is everything okay? How's school?"

"Oh everything's fine. Look I need you to cover for me."

"Why?"

"It seems are children have decided to ditch."

"THEY WHAT?"

"So I'm going to go out and look for them you'll come and cover my classes right?"

"Yeah of course," she sounded totally calm now. People think that Jasper can change emotions fast, ha; they've never met my wife. "But if you're not back by the end of the day then I'll assume that you've gone off with the children and left me for all of forever and then when you least expect it I will hunt you down and kill you and then bring you back to life to yell at you while your cleaning up the mess because I don't like messes on my living room carpet. So I'll be right down."

And that was the end of _that _conversation. I told the office my wife was coming down to take over the classes and I was going out somewhere and I must have been talking in a rush because the woman at the desk just blinked at me.

"I'll be right back." I smiled and walked away. As soon as I was away from her and any possible witnesses I ran off.

Okay I have about 2 hours to find the kids if not I am screwed and Esme will never let me live it down. Oh no she won't kill me she'll keep me alive forever so that I have to live with the guilt of letting our kids be runaways, oh and kidnapping a human. Now that I think about it that won't go down very well with Chief Swan...Oh shit I am so dead!

**Alice's POV**

"Oh my God..." I can't believe it. I just saw Carlisle running around town almost exposing us because he thinks we've fun off with Bella.

"Alice are you sure that's why he's running like that?" Edward asked me while wiping Bella's mouth with a napkin. I swear he's almost like her dad.

"Yes I mean there's no other explanation. I mean do you remember when we were staying in Alaska and this happened?"

"Okay what the hell?" Bella asked setting down her knife and fork. "How long did you guys spend in Alaska? I mean everything seemed to happen to you guys there it's like you've never been anywhere else in the world which I know is a lie because you have to move around all the time. Like gypsies or some weird crap like that."

"Bella we're not gypsies. Let's just say we spent a lot of time in Alaska, being isolated. Carlisle brought us there when we were changed so that we could contain the blood thirsty beast. It worked. Being cut off from civilization and the only source of blood being a poor little animal really has its affect on you."

"No it didn't it only affected you because you're a drama queen." Edward smiled before scooping up some of the side salad Bella had on her plate and feeding it to her. It was kind of adorable even if Bella refused to eat it at the start.

"Whatever, can we please get back to the point? Carlisle thinks we've gone AWOL and if someone doesn't notify him we're okay he's gonna call for reinforcements."

"You mean..." Rosalie started.

"OH YEAH!" Emmett outburst. "I remember when we were in Alaska and that happened. We were skipping school for the day to go to the circus because I really wanted to go and then in the middle of the performance the FBI bust in and kidnapped our asses. It was funny. Esme laughed when she found out about it but Carlisle was scared shitless that something had happened to us. It was so fun. Maybe it'll happen again please let it happen again!"

"No Emmett." Rosalie said in a tone of authority and that was that.

**Esme's POV**

I walked down the hallway to the Biology room Carlisle had abandoned. My husband was the worst teacher ever. The students were chaos. I was going to have to do something about it. I stood in the door way for about five more minutes and then took out my whistle and blew it. Everyone stopped to turn and look at me.

"Hello, I'm the new substitute teacher." I smiled.

"What happened to the other one?" someone called.

"Oh he got called into his actual job. He's a doctor, huge car crash just on the outside of town it was terrible. Anyway I'm here to teach you and teach you right. Obviously my husband didn't do a good enough job. So be prepared because this isn't going to be easy on you." As I said all of this I walked to the desk, read what the teacher wanted me to teach, set my bag down, taken my coat off and was sitting in the chair behind the desk. Everyone just stared back in awe. "So what have you been doing since you were left here?"

"Waiting to get out to lunch." A girl said looking at her watch.

"Oh well then go you need to eat." I shooed them all out of the classroom and sat down again. Then something clicked.

Carlisle had said that the kids had decided to ditch – with Bella. And it was lunch time. My husband is stupid. They obviously went somewhere to lunch. Or at least they better have or I would hunt them down personally and they would be living in hell. Unless your Edward who is always living in hell because he's such an emo. No offence to my son or anything but he really is a downer which is why I'm glad we have Jasper. At least that way he isn't as doom and gloom.

I took my phone out and dialled Emmett's number. He always picked up his phone for me, unlike the rest of the ungrateful, I buy them everything and yet they refuse to take my calls.

"Hello mommy," Emmett said. I smiled he was the kind of son I was proud of.

"Hey sweetie, just calling to see where you are."

"Oh we're at a café with Bella. It was Edward's idea, he got uncomfortable in Carlisle's class and so he just ditched, grabbing everyone on the way. Not that any of us are complaining."

"Alright, well that's fine as long as nothing bad has happened."

"Nope everything's fine. So mom is Carlisle gonna send the FBI for us again?"

"Hopefully not I was just going to call him after I was sure you lot hadn't gone AWOL."

"Well we promise to be back at school on time and so you don't have to worry. And I hope that Carlisle knows we would never just leave you. You guys gave us immortality we can't thank you enough for that."

"Aw Em, your such a suck up! Anyway have fun at lunch and I'll see you when you get back."

"Okay mom. Bye,"

"Bye bye honey."

I hung up the phone and sat a while. I knew it was best if I called Carlisle rather than him call me. I remember the last time this happened. _Honey I've hired the FBI maybe they can find the kids. _It still brings me fits of laughter every time. Their vampires I'm sure they can fend for themselves. Although I was a little worried about Bella going with them but it sounds fine. So I picked up the phone again to call my stupid husband.

**Carlisle's POV**

I was losing my mind. I was so close to ringing the FBI again when I got a phone call.

"Hey honey, still haven't found the kids and I've been in the forest, the house, around the zoo, anywhere where they might be, I have the wolf pack out looking for them too just you know because they are an extra help. I haven't heard anything and I called Charlie he said he'd ask around town because he's mad that Bella has run off with Edward and left him. Oh my God Esme what if that did happen? We'd be the worst parents ever!" I said in a rush.

"Okay Carlisle please stop. I just wanted to tell you to call off the search parties and don't even think about touching the FBI button on your cell. Just come back to school, the kids are safe and will come back." Esme interrupted me.

"How do you know?"

"Because I called Emmett and he told me they were at lunch."

"_Lunch_?"

"Yep,"

"_Oh,_"

She burst out laughing and hung up the phone. Nice on Carlisle. Normally I'm not as uptight about the whereabouts of our kids but there are times when I get over protective. I may not seem like the perfect dad but I am when the time is right.

I look around and smile at myself before running back to the school. As I entered through the foyer I saw my children walking down the hall and laughing. Oh thank God they really were safe.

As I followed them down the hallway they all suddenly stopped and turned around. Alice walked forward and hugged me and then pulled me down so she could whisper in my ear: "If it's okay with you we're going to go home for the day, we just came back for our stuff. We thought maybe you'd had enough fun for one day and well we want to go home. Also we're sorry we worried you and it won't happen again."

"So we're going home?" I repeated. They all nodded and I smiled. "Good because I've had enough of this place!"

They all laughed at me as we walked out of the school again. They will be glad to know that I won't be going back to teaching for a VERY long time. Probably not ever.

**Alice's POV**

*The Next Day*

"NO!" I yelled and my siblings looked at me. We were standing in the parking lot of the school waiting for Bella to come to school when I had yelled.

"What is it Alice?" Jasper asked worriedly.

"E-Esme...coming...here..."

"OH NO!" Everyone yelled. Here we go again...

* * *

**So basically this was a whole bunch of randomness brought together by the characters of Twilight. Actually I pretty much described a day in my school with less drama and no one calling the FBI. But I could so imagine it happening. :P**

**I hope you liked the story!**

**Maybe if you dropped me some love I might consider the Esme story. But it all depends on what time I have. But seriously you should just go and hit the button below. It can change lives. o.O**

**xx**


	2. ESME'S STORY!

Hey guys! The long awaited Esme cover teacher story is now up! Just follow the link: www . fanfiction . net / s / 7169889 / 1 /

~ CullenGirl1901

xx


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